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Feel It Out

by Moonheart

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1.
i’ve never been one to beg until there was somethin until there was somethin about the way you didn’t say nothin til later on there was somethin in your eyes that tried but your mouth didn’t follow through and i waited for you and i waited for you it opens it closes It opens it closes It opens and it closes it opens and it closes it opens it closes it opens it closes it opens and it closes it opens and it closes i only wished to be water to flow in and out of to smoothe what was rough i only wanted to be enough There was somethin very scared and bare somethin that i swallowed something long ago somethin in the water and i hid it from you and i hid it from you it opens it closes It opens it closes It opens and it closes it opens and it closes it opens it closes it opens it closes it opens and it closes it opens and it closes
2.
Bridestep 05:25
you look so handsome in your white dress never really seen you ‘til I seen you like this still sick about your birthday never meant to send you off that way you look so pretty in your suit never seen a man who looks anything like you still sick about the morning after we parted ways we parted ways i never meant to send you off like a barrel of sour wine in summertime, no I always meant to love you right even when i decided to leave us behind for time alone inside my bones take me lake michigan i’ll fix us something good let me fix all that i’ve broken actually it’s fine if you cannot find any time or reason i am loving seeing you in season even if i cannot really be there with you with you with you with you with you a strip of yellow light, it fell right across your cheekbone and lit up your eye i’ll see it when i close mine remembering you all dressed in white i’ll prob’ly head home soon but i’m happy to’ve stood briefly in your blessed light i’ll see you again sometime with both arms toward the sky both eyes wide i never meant to make you cry and sit there stonefaced and dry-eyed in wintertime i always meant to love you right even when i decided to leave us behind for time alone inside my bones take me to the rolling dunes i’ll fix us something good let me fix all that i’ve broken actually, it’s fine if you cannot find any time or reason i am loving seeing you in season even if i cannot really be there with you with you with you with you with you i’ll prob’ly head home soon but i’m happy to’ve stood briefly in your blessed light i’ll see you again sometime with both arms toward the sky both eyes wide
3.
4.
am i breaking/am i broken or somewhere in between somethin unspoken that room could never hold me just like you never held me who were we kidding and i’ll sift through the mounds of our shit Thought it was a waste of time but i’m siftin through it fine-toothed pick skeleton parting my way through pardon me if i’m rude on the way on the way out did i close the door too loud too loud am i solid am i liquid was i the only one was it all fiction my voice could never move you take care of you or soothe who did you run to And i looked through the things that you left Probably for far too long And i held my regrets to my chest one more breath in and out of you pardon me if i’m rude on the way out did i close the door too loud did i drag it out slow did i drag it out slow did i drag it out drag it out slow did i drag it out slow did i drag it out did i drag it out slow
5.
i walked alone on that saturday wishin you away, whisperin your name hopin the wind would wrap you in its wings take you far from me hold me up to see you goin And on the way back in my rearview mirror Thought i saw you floatin Wish i’d seen it clearer And in the mornin after i woke up A glimmer of god opened up my throat and i breathed a sigh of relief (ahh) feel it out, feel it out, feel you out and i kissed you on the mouth one last time before you’re gone one last time before you’re gone Where did you, where did you go Where did you go I waited for you I waited, i waited for you I waited for you I waited Who could have guessed That my body would trick me I thought you would leave me alone I wrote a note to self upon my palm raised it to the sun spoke it out in tongues hopin the birds would catch the tune of it call me on my shit sing me clean of it And in the moment when they lifted me With their melodies Echoin my grief That’s when i realized what i was missin Was that echoin, was that bein seen Where did you, where did you go Where did you go I waited for you I waited, i waited for you I waited for you I waited and i breathed a sigh of relief (ahh) feel it out, feel it out, feel you out and i kissed you on the mouth one last time before you’re gone one last time before you’re gone one last time before you’re gone one last time before you’re gone one last time before you’re gone

about

'Feel It Out' is connected by thematic threads that often weave throughout Kim’s lyrics: coping (or not) with grief in all its forms, the spiritual and physical experience of feeling her ancestors (living and dead) working through her in actions large and small, how to work through the specific grief of losing people who are still living, and attempts to deal with anxiety and depression by writing “to” and about them in the abstract.

Michael’s production translates these feelings and experiences through they way they manifest physically. A prolonged sigh, a sharp inhale, the shuffling of paper, a quickened heartbeat- the viscerality of the lyrics is expanded upon and emphasized by Michael’s orchestration, built in large part on organic and environmental samples.

The theme of opposites interacting- expansion and contraction, openings and closings, the organic and the processed, the highs and the lows- and searching for the balance within the extremes is also prevalent throughout the songs, both lyrically and production-wise.

'Feel It Out' was recorded slowly over the course of 2017 in small but dedicated pockets of time in the apartment they share.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=VCNjwAXzvoU

credits

released October 26, 2018

"I Can't Make You Love Me" written by Mike Reid & Allen Shamblin
All remaining songs written by kim mayo
All songs produced by Michael Sachs
Tracks 1 & 4 mixed by Zubin Hensler
Tracks 2, 3, & 5 mixed by Kevin Abdella
Mastered by John McCaig
Art by Machell Andre

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Moonheart Brooklyn, New York

☾moonheart is the musical home of singer/composer/poet kim mayo

☾instagram.com/moonhearttt/

☾moonheartmusic.com

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